Steal is Real

Unexpected revelations and the return of the second oldest bicycle frame material make for an entertaining weekend at the crit course.

In the “things you didn’t know about your club mates” category, it turns out John Scott-Hamilton is a huge Kevin Costner fan.  It’s not something I would admit this side of a half carton of beer, but there it is.  Despite stinkers such as “Waterworld”, “The Postman”, “The Film About Robin Hood”, “The One With Susan Sarandon that made me drool” and “Build It And I Will Watch”, John highly recommends “American Flyers” as motivational, heartwarming and ultimately moving cinema about beating Ted Danson in the most ludicrous cycling plot this side of “The triplets of Belleville”.  John is nothing if not brave.  He does run a good race though.

The crit track, having been pounded into submission by several fire engines and a fire-engine red missile in Drapac-Porsche colours, required some maintenance before a points race was held.  It is easy to make fun of a points race when you’re standing by the side of the road recording the points, but not so much fun when you’re in it.  The race was dominated by Bob and Brent Weston who switched bikes for chuckles.  I don’t know what you do in your family for chuckles, but putting the hurt on your own father on his beloved Master X-Lite is not one of them. I usually give gifts, maybe a nice birthday card, not suffering.

The points were again relatively wide spread, with eleven out of twelve riders gaining at least one placing during the race, although the C and B graders were more mixing it in for seconds and thirds.  Points were given for the first three places.  In alphabetical order:

Dene Bourke: 3, 1.

Wilf Keller: 3, 3.

Lachie McPhie: 2, 2, 1, 2.

Bob Murison: 2, 1.

Dave Rubie: 1 (accidental, rest of the field thought we were on the warm up lap).

Chicka Russell: 2.

Jacketless Mick Sozou: 2.

Andrew Swan: 1, 1, 1, 1, 4.  Total 8 points for 3rd place outright.

Brent Weston: 3, 2, 3, 1, 3, 3, 6. Total 21 points for 1st outright.

Jackie Weston: zip.  She tried pretty damn hard though and I think Bob and Brent have been stealing her food.

Bob Weston: 3, 2, 1, 3, 2, 3. Total 14 points for 2nd outright.

Dave Boundy: 2, 2.

As Bob Weston pointed out after the race, it was probably the first time in a while that a steel framed bicycle won a race at the crit track.  When interviewed post-race, Brent remarked:

I was like..whoah!  And it was like…whoah!!… Then I was like (nods and smiles)…alright!

Which when fed through the teenage translater came out as:

That steel bike looks rather spiffy, but it has all the structural integrity of pasta left overnight in the kitchen sink.  No matter how I tried I could not put the power down as you could with a snappy carbon-fibre frame.  My dear father is rather misty eyed about traditional bicycle construction methods but give me carbon any day.

So despite Bob trying to handicap his own son by giving him inferior gear to race on, Brent still showed what sprinting is all about, what racing is all about, and what Kevin Costner is all about:  bleeding into your moustache while your super-hot girlfriend tries to rescue you from crashing as your congenital aneurism cripples you during the Hell of the West.  Ah, what?  I think you have to see the movie, I believe John Scott-Hamilton has a copy.